Denial
by fiercesunshine
Summary: Don't let worry, fear, and doubt consume you, or before you know it, all you know will be darkness. Mild Riku/Sora, mentioned Akuroku. Now with parts, because it wouldn't leave me alone, and neither would you people.
1. Denial

"Denial

"_Denial."_

The word is dripping with venom, with claws and teeth and glowing yellow eyes, and Riku takes a step back – afraid, and now that he's acknowledged that forbidden fear, he crumbles a little bit more.

_"Denial."_

The word is spat again, and a cruel smirk shows him sharp teeth that wouldn't be out of place on a tiger, but they're not on a tiger, they're on a man, and this man has him cornered, bruised, and broken.

_"You can't accept that your heart is only darkness? You're weaker than I thought, Riku. Maybe I should go after Sora instead… he would be so fun to break. Wouldn't it be pretty, Riku, to see that light extinguished?"_

Riku grits his teeth and makes a fist, sea-green eyes flashing and for a moment, he is the tall, confident heartthrob of Destiny Islands. "Don't you touch him, you piece of shit."

A gloved hand reaches out, caressing his face, and Riku can do nothing to stop it because it's only a shadow, but it's a shadow with flesh and bone.

_"It seems you have some strength left after all. It seems I struck a nerve… How does it feel, Riku, to know that you're hurting his light when you touch him? How does it feel to know that you're poisoning him?"_

"Shut up! I love him, you bastard!"

There is laughter; cold, cruel, malicious laughter, and Riku shivers despite himself, but those sea-green eyes are still defiant, still angry, and the shadow pauses before sneering at him.

_"Fool. The darkness does not love – it consumes."_

And Riku wakes up, thrashing at a shadow that isn't there because his lights are all on, sweating and crying dry tears and swearing because it isn't true, _it isn't true_, and Sora is trying to calm him down, placing gentle hands on his shoulders, looking at him with sky-blue eyes and whispering "It's okay, it's okay" over and over again. Riku lets himself be held, lets himself go back to sleep with Sora's arms around him, but the shadow is still there, lurking, waiting.

The shadow is waiting for Riku to consume himself, and as worry over his relationship with Sora (_"I don't want to hurt him"_) grows, it knows that it won't have to wait for very long.


	2. Acceptance

Sora accepts the darkness in the same way Riku denies it. He has seen a lot in the past few years; he's seen hearts ripped away from people just like him, has seen death, has seen pain, has survived countless battles that could have killed him, including some that almost did. He's got the scars to prove it; one on his shoulder from a Fire spell, another on his shin from a lance, a few that he doesn't know the origins of (but Riku seems to know), and one on his side from the jagged teeth of Soul Eater.

Riku always runs his hand over that scar in silent apology, no matter how much Sora tells him that it's okay. To Sora, it is okay – he has forgiven and forgotten, and now all he wants is a happy ending for the two of them. He knows Riku is having a hard time; he knows that Ansem's presence, the darkness in his heart, is still there. But he accepts it, and when Riku thrashes in the night he wakes him up, kisses him, accepts him, because he's Riku and Sora loves him, no matter the flaws, no matter the darkness, no matter the denial.

Sora simply accepts the troubles, and he does it with a smile on his face, because he hopes that his light will be enough to keep Riku there, with him.


	3. Understanding

For a long time, Roxas didn't dream.

Roxas didn't eat. Roxas didn't smile. Roxas didn't laugh. Roxas didn't cry. Roxas didn't do anything, because Roxas was part of Sora now, and it hurt too much to watch his cheerful Other's daily life. Roxas rested in the dark, staring at nothing, and he tried not to think about fire and warmth and laughing green eyes, because every time he did it hurt, and Roxas didn't want to hurt and didn't want to feel happiness, because that was Sora's job now.

It was strange, then, that one night Roxas opened his eyes only to find that he was awake. He sat up, running his hand through his hair (so familiar, but he couldn't tell whether it was his or Sora's), and looked around. Riku was at the opposite end of the room, staring out the window, and Roxas watched him for a moment before Riku noticed, though he didn't turn around.

"Go back to sleep, Sora."

"It's not Sora." It was Roxas's voice, and Riku whipped around, seeing icy blue eyes that were Sora's but not Sora's, seeing brunet hair that was blond and then brunet again, and he laughed weakly.

"So, it's finally gotten to him. Enough to bring you back, anyway…"

Roxas suddenly felt a stab of fury. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Riku laughed again, but there was no humor in it – just a dry, defeated laugh. "The darkness. It must have drawn you out; you're a Nobody, aren't you?"

There was a snort, and Roxas stood, making his way towards the older boy (not a boy, a man, just like Sora… but Sora was still a boy), his hands clenched into tight fists. "I was a Nobody. I'm just… part of Sora now, I guess." Riku nodded slightly, and turned back to the window. Cold blue eyes watched him for a minute more before their owner spoke again. "You're still not over your darkness issues? Should've known, I guess."

Riku snarled, turning and almost hitting him, remembering just in time that he was in Sora's body. "Not that you're much stronger. You've been hiding – Sora told me."

It was Roxas' turn to snarl now, and he didn't care that Riku was taller and more muscled; he let his hand go, but it only connected with the other boy's shoulder. "You. Don't. Know." His voice was shaky, but he didn't strike again. "I saw Axel die in front of me, and I couldn't go a god damned thing. Sora doesn't know either – all he knows is that if that happened, and it was you, that he would break."

Riku paused at this, blue-green eyes wavering before growing hard again. "It would be better if I did."

Roxas snorted. "That's what I thought, too."

They stood in silence after that, Riku looking back to the window and Roxas looking around Sora's room for the first time. Eventually, Riku spoke up, and he sounded exhausted – like he'd just fought a war, but had won. "When you left the Organization… it wasn't just to find Sora, was it? It wasn't just to know. You didn't want to hurt Axel."

Roxas took a shaky breath, and nodded slightly before laughing weakly. "And look how that turned out."

Riku gave him an awkward smile. "Do you think the darkness will pass?" Roxas shrugged.

"Maybe. But maybe it's supposed to be there – maybe that's the only way you two can really work."

Riku nodded, brushing his silver bangs out of his eyes. "I love him, you know."

Roxas smiled. "I know. He loves you, too." _And I understand._

The next morning, Sora woke with a smile on his face, which only grew wider as Riku leaned over to kiss his forehead and, from somewhere in the back of his mind, he heard the shifting of a presence he hadn't felt in a very long time.


End file.
